Nirmal Singh : Screaming At The Stars

Nirmal The Khalistani Kuriye Loves Nihangs

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life is an odd bird sometimes.....

wow, just found out that my aunt died recently. it's sad that we wound up having a love/hate relationship. she was my grandfather's brother's second wife (ya got that?) - but i'd never met the first one that i can remember. anyway, we used to go to see them in the summers, and had fun times at their pool. my aunt used to wear a beehive, just like time had stopped and the 60's never ended. they had a nicely decorated trailer home, and had large dogs, one's name was roach. they had a smokehouse which was hidden in the woods on their property, and to this day i don't know how they got it, they had one of those little red memorial lights you see at the cemetery by their garage. i was incredibly fascinated by that thing! my aunt had a profound love of butterflies, and collected them in glass displays. she also had a rain lamp over their bar that i envied, and used to make some nice food for us when we'd visit. in later years, the visits became less frequent, and they eventually got rid of the pool. those were some of the happiest days of my kid. i still wonder how the hell she managed to get that beehive.....and how long her hair was to do it. well, anyway, rest in peace to her, and i send my love to the family. i'm unable to go down for the funeral, otherwise i would. im happy for the nicer memories, and that i can finally get past the ones i'd prefer to forget, namely how much of a drunken hag (thanks mum) she was.....after my grandmum died, she became a monster. those bright happy early days gave way to dark stormy, usually sloshed complaints about how i didn't kiss my cousin's ass. the cousin in reference, was one one who purposely pulled the plug on my grandmum after taking over care of her so she could get money from her. a real card that. i prefer the happier days like trips our lady of czestochowa (chest uh ho wah, the black madonna and see some polish stuff - and ), which now connects to why my grandfather was enthralled by the place. she was dark, he was dark, the painting of the virgin wasn't originally from poland, only half of him was polish...yep. as for me, i was fascinated by the place because the architecture and scenery captured me completely, as did the candle room. to be honest, i never felt completely right in any church (that's church, NOT gurdwara). i always viewed them as i was looking at another culture's practices, not my own, not something that i believed in, as much as i'd try to imagine myself, but when i imagined myself, i imagined i was someone else. not quite sure who, but just not me, and oddly enough not even desi. my grandparents even wanted me to learn accordion. it looked interesting, just never materialized for reasons beyond my control or knowledge. just...every day joe kind of girl, and was happy for her, but glad she was only imaginary and i could shoo her off at will. also, i'll have u note that i know more hindi and punjabi than i do polish. the only words i know are dobshe and hovno. good and shit. figures. lol. also, see this great blog -


i just mentioned my original connection to my beloved rain lamps, growing up. i'd forgotten about the bottles. my mum had a small collection of i think 3 stretched pepsi, one coke, and one 7up. they had their own little spot for eons in our family rooms basement and i loved them too. when we moved, i don't know what happened to them, but now they've surely gone to wherever else most of my stuff went, sadly.

(god that fuckin blows my mind...never dawned on me to put coloured bulbs in these things!)

there's more stuff from the mental archive here -

oh, and here's another cool blog -


also, i went to meet someone in manhattan last night (who i doubt i'll ever see again), and finally got to see the world trade center, or what was left of it. they are building soemthing nearby and it looks nice to me. the design of the new building is interesting. and, had a moment when i was about to get off my subway stop.....a guy was sitting by the door, reading his ipad and motioned for me to remove my earphones. he said to me, you are the most beautiful, there's just an aura about you. and i didnt really know what to say, but he was cute. oddly enough he wasn't indian. he said that he was afraid to get up and say something. ah.....good morals and a nice salwar kameez get a girl far. don't think i'll ever see him again, but it was nice anyway. i'm frequently asked if i'm harrassed for not wearingf western clothes and sticking to my roots instead, and this is another story i can tell. as we know, i havn't really been harrassed for how i dress, other than maybe fellow indian women givinbg me stinkeye because they think i'm gori, and don't know i'm actually part indian, and of course from the REAL dirty gori sluts.

That brings me onto another point......

there are times when some feminists just go way over the edge and make me want to hurl acid laced flame vomit all over them and watch them go down the highway speeding at 800 miles an hour only crash and burn into a tree. while the reality of the thing is that i really don't hate other women (i am a woman myself, after all...jeez), like many other things, especially 'spirituality', they take things from ok and yep common sense to fucking nuts an unrealisytically stoopid doing 0 to 60 in 30 seconds. one of those many many moments are like when they all feel that calling a woman a slut or whore right away makes you misogynistic. it's actually telling it like it is. and i certainly don't feel ALL women are sluts or whores, and certainly not because they are women. there are many men who are slutty/whore-like also. it's about telling what it's like because that person whatever degree, to act in said manner. it's a notation of their behaviour, which can come in many degrees - how they choose to dress, how they act, or a combination thereof. btw i hear so many stupid cunts talk about misogyny, right....but what the flying fuck? u never hear about misandry...and many prolly don't even know what the hell that is! (it's the hatred of men) and how INFREQUENTLY u hear about masculism. it's about EQUALITY of BOTH sexes, and BOTH sexes having proper respect, not ONE vs the OTHER. neither male or female are superior to the other. both have their wonderful and their downright fucked up qualities. that being said....


oh, and we have a preview of the new beavis and butthead...and it is EPIC!

i thought i enjoyed the OLD B n B way back when, but wow.....mike judge has managed to make them even better. they now make fun of today's losers like the jersey shore and shit from youtube. and it really is more fun. it's like getting more marshmallows in your lucky charms.

and the hilarious as hell -


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